Author: lizziehopley

Gig No. 11. Where? Comedy Virgins, Cavendish Arms. Again. Why? Coz I WON A TROPHY there and after last week’s UTTER DEATH I’m hankering after past glory. Who Held My Hand? My writer mate, Joe. He quite likes being a +1. He’ll learn. What Happened? I DIDN’T DIE. What more d'you want? Last time I … Continue reading BACK ON THE HORSE →

Gig no 10. Where? Downstairs at the Kings Head, Islington Why? Asked for it. Who Held My Hand? No-one. Did this alone. Why Took My Body Back to my Parents? No-one. See above. What Happened? I DIED. I WAS SHIT. I was shitter than an old dry shit on a shitheap that someone has done … Continue reading WORSE THAN KONG →

*An occasional blog post where I feature some Up-and-Coming Genius I'm a bit jealous of. First up: actress/comedian/songstress, Olivia Mace* Even nice people have a LIST. Of those who’ve CROSSED THEM IN THE PAST. The first on mine was a NUN. But an instant qualifier was some bastard of an Impro Teacher who made me “WOW!” … Continue reading IMPRO THIS BITCHES! →

Gig no 9. Where? House of Idiot, Brixton Why? Found out where a mate was gigging and totally crashed it. Who held my hand? My mate and her husband were forced to out of politeness. What happened? I GOT PAID A WHOLE TEN POUNDS. That’s £1 per minute - the best hourly rate in my LIFE. … Continue reading IDIOT EARNS A TENNER →

Gig 8. Where? Nice n’ Spiky, Regent’s Pub, Islington Why? They let me. Who Held my Hand? No-one. My friends are starting to learn. What Occurred? I BLUSHED TO DEATH slowly with no-one to hold my hand. In a basement. With 12 other comics, all men, who DIDN’T CARE. It was another bringer night where no-one … Continue reading EVEN MUM WON’T SAVE YOU →